Hey everyone! This is Mykala! I am the co-founder and writer here at UNITE WITH LIGHT. Many of the blog posts you will see on this website are interviews. So, I thought I would interview myself and introduce you to the woman behind the scenes here at UNITE WITH LIGHT. Hope you enjoy!
Tell us about yourself!
I was blessed to grow up in Alaska, where Walmart is an igloo and polar bears are the main mode of transportation.
Okay, just kidding. But, really, I am from Alaska and I love it there! I have four little sisters who are my entire world and the best parents a gal could ask for.
In 2015, I moved to Rexburg to attend Brigham Young University-Idaho. After five years, a mission trip, a study abroad in Israel, and multiple internships and jobs, I am finally graduating in December 2020! I’m pretty excited to see where life takes me!
Other important facts about me:
-I am obsessed with pasta.
-Harry Potter is life.
-I hate cucumbers. Like, seriously. Don’t let them close to me, please.
-I have always loved stories—mostly because dad is the best storyteller alive! I got my love of writing from him too. This was a huge part of what led me to begin Unite with Light.
What impact has pornography had on your life?
Let’s jump in with the big question I’m sure you all are asking, shall we?
My personal experience with pornography really began in college. To be honest, I didn’t fully comprehend what exactly pornography was and how greatly it impacted lives until then. Call me naïve, but it's true. Needless to say, I was completely caught off guard when a dear college friend bravely shared with me that they were battling a serious pornography addiction.
I will forever be grateful for this individual’s courage, but I also felt so lost. I didn't know what to do, how to respond, how to help or even what words to say. So, in order to never feel like that again, I began to learn as much as I could about pornography addictions. I wanted to better understand its impacts and discover resources to help both my friend and myself, because the truth was, I was starting to really struggle with feelings of betrayal and mistrust, specifically as I began dating.
It is important to note that the pain I was feeling wasn’t just a result of learning about my friend’s addiction. The more I was learning about this topic, the more my eyes were opened to the impacts of this addiction worldwide. I wept with other women and men that I met both in person or through blogs and vlogs, who shared their personal journeys with me.
And then, a beautiful thing began to happen. As I brought my pain to my Jesus, I discovered Him on a more intimate level than ever before. I watched as He has healed my broken heart. I watched as He healed the broken hearts of both addicts and their loved ones alike. This didn’t always mean addictions went away totally, although I saw that too. Ultimately, what I found was HOPE as I witnessed the bravery and strength Jesus provides everyone in EVERY situation, addiction included.
How did UNITE WITH LIGHT begin?
I could not just sit still and keep all that I had researched and learned over the years all to myself. I wished so badly that the younger me who discovered what pornography was earlier in college could see the incredible strength and power that can also come with shedding light, rather than fear, on this topic. However, while I don’t think this topic should be regarded as taboo, it is a private and sensitive one. Consequently, not everyone needs to share their experiences with pornography in order to recover and heal. That said, I DO think there is one thing that all women need in their battle against pornography, in any form:
Women need to know they are not alone. Because they aren’t.
Nothing impacts me more, or makes me feel connected to others, than learning about someone else’s real-life stories. So, on September 7, 2020, I asked my best friend, Laura Erekson, to write a book with me. Laura was present throughout my entire journey of researching pornography. She studied it at BYU-Idaho and I could not think of anyone else I’d rather write this book for women with.
As we began to plan out the book, we realized we needed more than just research and numbers. We also knew we needed to use fictional characters in the book, but we still wanted every experience included to be absolutely genuine. We wanted this book to be something every woman could fully relate to.
We started interviewing women, and all of their stories have impacted me on a level I can’t even describe. Again, I simply couldn’t keep this to myself, so I built this website. Ultimately, I designed UNITE WITH LIGHT to become a compilation of research and stories for women everywhere, whether they are fighting a personal addiction or fighting pornography alongside a loved one.
Why is UNITE WITH LIGHT designed specifically for women?
When I first began researching pornography, I noticed there were very few resources and stories about women, particularly in my situation. I also noticed that pornography is usually addressed as a man’s issue, which is absolutely false.
Considering the fact I am a woman, I also felt like I could relate more fully to women, and cultivate a truly incredible community using this website and future book.
This project did begin as a goal to write a book. How is that coming along?
From the very first discussions on this project, Laura and I committed to making our book as accurate and impactful as possible. This means that we have also committed to taking as much time as that requires. Currently, my focus has been completely on the blog. I am learning even more than I ever expected and I feel like this is where God has pointed me in terms of my recent efforts on this project. Women have requested to share stories a lot more than I anticipated so I intend to continue to build up this website as an immediate and powerful resource for women. That said, the plan to write the book is very present with me, and these stories are what will cause it to be impactful. So stay tuned! We will keep you updated.
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Please feel free to ask any questions in the comments! I'd love to get to know everyone reading this. Thanks for being here!
Much love,
Mykala Steadman